Talking to all of the young people lately about marriage has brought to mind the fact that so many husbands fail to simply understand that they are called to lay down their lives for their wives. If we are to be examples of the relationship between Christ and his church, we must first of all give ourselves sacrificially for our wives. So many men want to be the head of their wives, but not their savior.
I say savior in the sense of being as Christ is to the church. That is what Paul means when he says "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her". Men, what are you giving up for your wife? You are supposed to be giving up your life! Your wife comes before everyone! You have no right to demand that your wife submit herself to you unless you are being her savior and giving yourself up for her. She is to come before your children, before your job, before your hobby for goodness sake and before your friends.
You are to be a Christ to her. You are to be loving her as Christ loved the church. Many of you aren't. You want to be the center of everything, including the life of your wife, but your life is so self-centered that the picture you are supposed to be is warped.
Christ is selfless. He laid down His life for the sheep. The primary example that every married Christian man should be is one of dying daily for his wife.
Men, die to yourself. And be a man. Stop worshiping the god of pleasure and die! Living sacrificially is not simply working a job. Your wife is the result of what you have made her. When you first took her hand at the altar, you committed to cherish her even as Christ cherishes the church. Men, what have you done to your wives? Why are they not rejoicing? Is it because you are still so very much alive to yourself? If so, it is no wonder that your wife finds it hard to respect your walk.